About Me

Monday, June 23, 2014

I Love You,Forevermore


(On dad's 60th Bday.)



A Father defines what it is to be a Man in this clamorous cosmo
A man loves a woman like an equal,he does not hold her down ,he sets her free
A man takes the hand of his woman when he fumbles and proudly proclaims so
A man takes on his vices by the throat and punches them into a debris


A Father never  builds a fortress around his daughter,calling her a princess
instead he teaches and preaches, proudly unleashes her onto the world
He gallops,rejoices as she leaps around in the woods with her fiery tresses
He does not let her just wait around for her prince charming,lost in a dream-world


A Father shows the treacherous path to happiness,with his love and life as beacons
He chides her when she lags behind lazily ready to move into unknown darkness
His hope does not flinch even when she is easily enticed by life's shenanigans
Instead he regains the pieces of her dignity for her with his forgiveness


Being cradled in his laughter is her highest form of luxury
Being the reason for his pride is her highest badge of  honor
Ensconced in the warmth of his hand lies her Beautiful eternity
Ensconced in the fire of his heart lies her magnificent manor

His laugh forever dances in her bones
His humor forever twinkles in her eyes
His intelligence reflects in her different tones
His extreme emotions leap in her poetic cries 


Nanna,Never doubt my ardent worship of you
Never doubt my belief in the goodness of you 
Never doubt my undying faith in you
And never ever doubt my unconditional love towards you


I Wish upon my stars to be intertwined with yours,Beyond Infinity
I Pray upon my memories to be bottled up in my core,Beyond Immortality
Now and forever,
Forever and Beyond...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A Lioness' Freedom.

She is one pure majestic sight.
Her waist delicate,carved like the crescent of the moon tapering into beautiful golden paws. She opened her eyes,the corneas- a bronze delight!The wind moved touching her like it was a rare opportunity.And then the lioness roared "The pleasure of stretching and pushing the hind legs and digging the paws in the fresh green grass,rolling all over the pasture while the dew drops sweep my skin,The unadulterated morning wind rushing through my hair. Ah!Love this freedom. How can one not be happy here? Even if one tried they couldn't. Ah!The feline pride is something that's unmatched to any other creature"
This was her way to greet every day, Being proud of herself  and the world. To breath in the freedom and the pride of the place that she has in her kingdom. She walked like a Queen.Head held high.Paws poised.A graceful walk.
She stared at the warm morning rays of the sun and dipped herself in the pool .After a brief bath she was on a regal recce of her favorite places around.

As she reached a cluster of bushes where she usually likes to take her siesta. She saw another lioness.She was sizing her up,thought to herself-"She is beautiful,alright.But not as much as me" she flipped her mane arrogantly and walked towards her. This other woman was so sad,you could feel it in the air surrounding her. The Lioness hated when these other women became sad without a concrete reason. She snorted for her attention. The sad one didn't even lift her head up. Pissed off by the indifference,the Lioness left.The next day was the same.The Lioness was frustrated with this woman's behavior and thought "I am giving her a week.Tops!"
A week passed.
The next day she saw her again in the midst of the bushes-this time in an even worse state,she had tears rolling down her golden cheeks. The Lioness finally burst out "What happened? Whats your problem?" She asked in a tone of utter condescension.The sad woman replied "I came here a week before. Its stifling here, Its so overwhelmingly sad. I don't know who I am anymore."
The Lioness was shocked and confused "So you migrated? you can discover yourself here. You are free in this wilderness. All the possibilities!!The freedom of no boundaries. Breathe in.Smell it! Taste it! Ahhh! Can't you feel it?Just live it! " she said.
The other lioness was clearly surprised "Are you sure you know where you are? Are you sure this is freedom?"
The Lioness replied in vehemence"Of course I am! This IS Freedom!"
She asked "Have you seen the end of this expanse?"
"No,I haven't, there is no end, I might accidentally migrate to another place,if i ever want to see the end of it" said she.
The other woman let out a snort of sarcastic derogation "Follow this trail, when you return, I shall be happy. Follow this trail till you stop,you will know when to stop." she said ,turned her back and walked away.

The lioness thought it was a stupid challenge but walked on. Well this would be an opportunity for me to know my home she thought to herself. Its been ages since i walked around.So she went ahead with the challenge.
She sang,trotted and skipped her way onto the trail. She walked for 6 hours. She raised her head to see the sky trying to find the sign that the other woman was referring to. Her view was unclear due to something.She couldn't figure out what it was. She moved faster to know what it was. It looked like a pattern of hanging interlinked roots of some kind. Curious,she moved faster. She ran and ran.
She was huffing and puffing but she ran towards the hanging roots.

Suddenly,Her run was subconsciously stopped!

What lay in front of her was a horrific sight!
Her mind froze!
Her heart was beating faster.
Her breathes came in faster and louder.
Her fierce body fell onto the ground at the outrageous betrayal.
She had to close her eyes to stop this stifling slap of reality.
She opened her eyes again, slowly,much slowly,
To may be magically repaint what lay in front of her.
To may be realize it was an illusion of nature.
To may be see that it was a cruel joke by someone.
May be! Maybe!
But...
The WALL was still there.
A concrete wall that rose into the sky with iron fences.
Fences!!Barricades!A wall!

She turned left and right.The wall seemed unending.
And so was the sudden grief within her heart.

Her world was suddenly disintegrating.
Her feet trembled. She felt non-existent.
She didn't know who she really was.

Her memories have suddenly withered.
Her love suddenly annihilated.
Her mind suddenly became a fog of arid agony.
She stood aghast.
"All a facade!All a trickery!"

She looked at her paws.
She didn't know them anymore.
She felt her fur.
It seemed like a mat made out of  cheap weed.

She felt ugly!
She was ugly!
She heard the wind howling in laughter of derision.
She saw the sun whipping her cruelly with rays of cheap questions.
She felt the ground carrying her weight like she were an illegitimate child.

All of her life was a mere illusion of liberty.
Her Life-A cheap blanket of permitted choices given by somebody else's moth eaten prejudiced thoughts.
Indeed,a vile guise!
Her identity was made up.
All her thoughts were based on what was chosen to be shown.
All of her,was built on somebody else's orders.
All of her decisions were Somebody else's grants.


She stammered ........"FFFREEDOMM!!!??"........



Monday, April 28, 2014

The Voice.

I closed my eyes.
As soon as I close my eyes,she speaks to me,The Voice.
But now---
Silence!!!
Just pitch dark canvas of hollowness under the trembling blankets of my eyelids.
I closed my eyes harder,wrinkling my brow and frowning my forehead in a way that it translated into an echoing demand of "Where are you?"
Hit by silence again.
I knew it has been a long time since I talked to her.
I knew she might be angry with me.
But such cold silence?
I was taken over by sudden spasms of fright.
May be she got lost I wondered.
I stood alone in the tangible spatial arena within me, " I thought I had you safe in here, I thought I whisked this precious part of you away from the world...smuggled you into the folds of this beautiful world of serene nothingness of no boundaries.Where there is no age. Where there is no superficiality.Where there is no negativity. Just delightful conversations.Where are you? Quit this hide and seek.I have enough of that in the real world." I yelled with fanatical anger "Where ARE you!!?". Silence again.
I dug my eyelids even deeper,trying to mentally suck The Voice out from wherever she is hiding or from whatever place that she has trapped herself into.I was pleading and begging for just a word or a syllable or even a breath. A tear rolled out of the corner of my eye marking its way onto the side of my cheek to my earlobe.That tear was what I was most afraid of. It was an affirmation for the question that I was not ready to believe.
That single tear was also the mighty cork to a bursting well of tears.When that single barricade was broken there was no stopping, I wailed. I wailed for my lost Voice. I hiccuped with the sudden overlapping outbursts of wails,cries and pleas. I screamed with an angst for my lost voice. I knew it was all my doing. I lost myself in the midst of my busy chatter of a meaningless life. I didn't pay heed to her when she popped into say a Hello. I snubbed her when she raised a question on my character. I ignored her when she was hollering for just few minutes of my time. I have prostituted my mind,gave it piece by piece to people who triggered degradation of my life in the name of enjoyment.Who did not enrich it  but mutilated it with cheap complaints of no consequences, of no importance, of no reason.

My cheeks burnt with the molten tears of loss.
My mind remained pitch dark but it now had an eerie feeling of a broken home.
I stood alone on the threshold of a giant closed door.
When I unknowingly lit the pyre of my own Inner Voice, The doors have been shut.
I closed the door to my very own soul.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Curses or Cures



The three words-Life,Love and Purpose
Have tormented me in so many ways
My heart,body,mind and soul have become their timid preys
They've driven a storm of angst without any pardons or parleys

Why is all my being consumed by these three words
Why does my mind plague itself with the questions with no answers?
Why does the heart wring itself with a thorny twine of faith just to form a pool of tears
Why does the soul try to lash it out on itself for having plain human fears?

What pleasure do I derive from these chaotic conundrums?
Why do I try to find the footprints of perfection in history?
Why do I relish the idea of construction of a life of ideals- when it’s a fallacy
Why do I still cling on to the path of purpose and not give into the maze of mediocrity

What is this inner struggle with this tyrannous triad?
The question of life is like a serene hermit regaling in earthy exultation
The question of love is like a voluptuous angel dancing in heavenly jubilation
The question of purpose is like an enlightened sage smiling in peaceful gratification

Life, Love and Purpose. Isn't everybody’s life based on these jumble of spells?
I ask and I ask,Is there a meaning to look for, beyond this limited territory?
Or is our existence a mere accident in God’s factory
Are these the curses of our lives or the cures? A querulous quandary!




Monday, February 3, 2014

My Sanctum.


This mind of mine is a strange camouflage
It portrays a life of beauty and ambition
But it lazes around losing itself in the mélange –
Of boredom, worry and petty meaningless fun

This psyche of mine is cunning
Tries to reason all the wrongs that I have done with a lawyer-like tact
Validate every lie that I have told by springing up a red herring
It says, at that moment it was not immoral and shameful of me to put on that act

This mind of mine is a wishful oracle
Trying to feed me with the infinite possibilities
Envisioning dreams to reach that abstract pinnacle
To take that step and rewrite the crude realities

This psyche of mine is a paranoid lover
It loves me dangerously, guarding my heart with ironclad walls
It is a sunny leprechaun walking around with a cleaver
Making people fall in love but never pays heed to their calls

This mind of mine is a schizophrenic dreamer
One moment it is full off fervor ready to take on life’s adventure
Next moment it withdraws cowardly into a corner
Scared by delusions and illusions of a life of artificial allure


Bombarded by care, doubts, fear and over protection
I suddenly realized this crowded creepy world infiltrated my priced citadel
And this mind of mine has actually become a palace under their construction
So I have to run away, I shall not let it become the Tower of Babel

I will build my own fortress in my solitude here
I will sit by the lake of mesmerizing silver memories and hum
I will water the blossoms of future that are ever so beautifully clear
This mind of mine shall be mine alone!!!---My Sanctum.



** [Tower of Babel:(Genesis 11:1-11) a tower built by Noah's descendants (probably in Babylon) who intended it to reach up to heaven; God foiled them by confusing their language so they could no longer understand one another]

Friday, December 6, 2013

THE GOLDEN COMPASS


                                                                      ********

PROLOGUE: We're always hoping that if we do the right thing,the right way, we'll be rewarded  but what if there is no such invisible rule. What if Life is Just life...not an example that we need to make something out of.
What if we have all been misguided by phrases like "Follow your heart" and "Everybody has a destiny".
Just What IF!!


                                                                    ***********

Be the Captain’ of your soul I was told
And I decided to sail on the waters with nothing but pure courage
With just the compass in my hand I decided to stand in the seasons of hot sun and shivering cold
I took the helm and burst out of the normalcy’s  ‘cage’

I proclaimed "I AM my own Captain, I AM the navigator of my life"
The ship’s sails are up; the anchors away and I could write my own story
Wrestling with the wind and cajoling the waters, getting through every strife
Each and every turn will be either MY folly or MY very own glory

The wind’s howling throws scares into my heart every day
The water's ferocious growling breaths ghosts of doubt into my mind, triggering regrets
But the powerful image of what I want to be washes it all away
The strength of the “dream” is much too bigger to succumb to empty threats

Instead, I sing joyfully in the painful tones of my hunger
I dance blissfully with the tired scaled feet of my slaving
I clap rejoicing each turn with bruised hands as each day gets longer
Each tone ,each step,each bruise is part of my story in the making

As I finally see my path, to truly believe it --the map I fervently clasp;
I’ll be seeing my dream come true soon, Ahhhh!! I am near it.
There is nothing like this feeling, knowing that your dream is within your grasp
I could almost taste it…I could almost hold it

How the wind felt against the arc of my ear
How my hair flew like a Lioness does while reaching for its prey
How my hands trembled at the wheel both with urge and fear
How my heart kept beating faster, uncontrollably; going astray

I scrambled for my maps, yes! It was supposed to be here, I’m here i am finally here
And there was NOTHING. The map must be wrong! I needed an affirmation
 The mad mind kept hoping my dream would materialize out of thin air, for the maps were clear
I frantically reached for the compass,I knew it had always showed me the right direction

That particular minute’s every infinitesimal detail will last with me for a lifetime
I'll never forget The diabolical black waters gushing and  flooding into my dream of an Eden
The boom in my ears with thunders of painful memory of shattered hope and laughs of destiny's devilish crime.
As i saw that The Beautiful Golden Compass, in my hand, the direction of my life--was broken.



               



Sunday, September 15, 2013

Do Not Resuscitate


Prologue : A legal form to respect the wishes of a patient not to undergo CPR or advanced cardiac life support  if their heart were to stop.}

{A relationship's monologue }


When do you know its over?
When do you stop being a pushover?
When do you stop pushing yourself into the same dark ditch
When do you realize it’s the same wound,and once again you need a stitch

Wrapped around by astronomical ego,The individualistic mess
The bubble is bound to burst  from the twin obsessions’ coarseness
Under the human tendencies of infidelity and mistrusts
Under the pressure of seeking constant childish attention,it rusts

Life in its twisted sense of humor finds love,that one sunny-dark soul
People with innate mad urge of masochism,start exhausting their hearts as embers of coal
I am formed in painful devilish delight  and a sweet tingling torment
Too hard to let go,too painful to relent

They are too demanding ,They  are  too harsh
They want lovely lilies and dandy daffodils in the marsh
They ask for sunflowers and a blue-moon at once
I’m meek yet I’m strong; I survive on this strange precarious balance

I know love’s dark magic;blinded and dumb,I still embark
When the whole world is rejoicing for an event I find myself in the dark
Because of the exchange of harsh words,and for the things said
I am hurt more by the the things that are hidden and that remain unsaid

When the light is fading away,I don’t panic about the dark instead I crave
I walk in far too deep;I relish the strange high of being in the imposing cave
But then;My feet have cracked from walking on too many thorns
My ears  scaled from ignoring far too many blaring foghorns

I  know I cant stay any longer in this darkness
All the previous sweet nothings have evaporated into nothingness
Constantly hurt by the truth and pulling myself up
I’m  done gulping down the bitter bullets unconsciously and waking up

And so next time I’ll be ready with a smile on my face for your gambit
I’ll relish that one last love lash,that one last blinding bullet
With my chin held high ,just to show that I tried,each time even  harder
But each and every time you only made me weaker and far weaker

And all that was ignited has been extinguished again and again
I’m done waking with a shock back into life with your conceited love’s bargain
I've bled and you each delighted in your own egoistic triumphs,and you still are
But I’m done, I’m done now and I've signed my DNR