About Me

Saturday, June 23, 2012

His li'l girl.Always.

Dedicated to Dad. On his B'day! :)



“Damn!! I am beautiful”, it was the first time that I paid myself a compliment in my entire life.
I indeed was looking extremely pretty in the white satin wedding gown.
The day had finally come, and thankfully nothing had gone wrong.
My hair has taken the form that I wanted it to take instead of having it’s own mind.
There was no pimple on my face, which was surprising as they find their way and definitely make a great appearance on very important days.
The gown fit perfectly even though I had eaten 10 chocolates the previous night to calm myself from the excitement.
No excited relative has come jumping to kiss me and botch up my entire make up.
So all in all, I felt like the prettiest thing on Earth.
Just when I was about done admiring myself, my dad had come in… He looked at me first, like I was a beautiful vision in awe, then his eyes changed their expression to happiness and then to pain…all in a matter of seconds.
He came to me and asked “All done? It’s time.” There was a sense of loss in his voice.
A tone matching a kid’s who had just lost his newly acquired prized possession.

I took his arm and walked.

For a second. My entire life until now had played it’s most important moments and all had him standing right by my side
His eyes lighting up in all happy memories
His eyes putting up a brave front whenever I was sad
The movies we both watched together
The books we discussed so intensely
The times I shut the door on him but later crawled back to his side( a gesture equivalent to sorry)
The few mornings, he complained that I fell asleep without giving him the daily goodnight kiss.

All of these flashed in front of me…and at that moment I became sad too.
Can’t I be his lil girl forever?
Protected from everything.
Promised to never be hurt.

Then I looked at the man with whom I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, smiling widely, waiting for me, ready to speak his vows.
He knew exactly how important my family was to me.
He realized long back how essential my dad was to me, when I kept yakking about him the entire day on our date.
He knew he had to win my dad to win my hand.
And he did succeed with his embarrassing attempts to win. In that I saw how much he loved me.

My heart longed to be his’
But it ached to leave my father.
I stared with a cloud of confusion at him.
He understood immediately, and smiled weakly and started walking towards me; all the guests were in as much confusion as I was, not knowing what was happening
He came to me and whispered “You’re always his lil girl, I wouldn’t take you away from him, Never. I just want to be part of your life, your love and you”

I smiled with tears in my eyes and looked at the man walking me down the aisle.
My dad, who was lost in his own ocean of emotions, embraced him like a son thankful for the much necessary assurance.

As the groom took his place back, my father looked at me with eyes full of love and joy and sense of relief.
We both laughed at our last minute childish thoughts, and he walked me down.

And there I was standing between two men, one who is still unsure to let go of my hand and the other anxious to take my hand.
Can a girl get any luckier??

I kissed my dad, and said “I’ll always be your little girl.”










Saturday, June 9, 2012

Alone and Awake



I see the world drowning in an ocean of mediocrity
Man has successfully tarnished everything he can with utmost alacrity
Food is adulterated and Love is contaminated
Greatness extinct and Innovation endangered

A Man is raised to Martyr’s status just for doing his job
I questioned why? They called me “Arrogant” snob
Charity extended to the lazy slobs of the street
And I said I won’t join, Then they called me a Heartless Beast

Thousands of people turning into dung beetles
Feeding on the dirt, altering into mindless weasels
Adding one to their troop daily, in the name of “The greater good”
Nagging me to join them, in their cheap celebrations of sainthood

“It’s not cheating if it’s helping the man pass his test
It’s not wrong if it’s helping the man lead a better life” a wise guy professed
Argued I “Elevating the average ones to higher stature in the name of equality,
Giving them worth that they don’t deserve is a complete debauchery

Let an able man struggle on his own to reach his heights.
Don’t let the people feed on the brains of intellectuals like parasites
Let the quality of mind be elevated, not their unending greed
Let them not shrivel into a sniveling crowd of human breed

Mediocrity is strengthening it’s grip, as Quality of life is going to dust
Friendship based on give and take…Love based on nothing but lust
Let us not just be voyeurs, standing still, let us start again, and learn about Humanity
Walk with me and we’ll rewrite our future together, that’s heading towards calamity”

I took a step forward and I saw that nobody even tried
I looked at them longingly once again but no one came to my side
I sighed and walked, the sound of soil under my sole feet was like a whip lash
For I was alone in this fight, to clean the invisible barbaric trash

The angst of seeing a good entity not being respected
While the poor one being applauded and treasured
An ordinary thing winning over the inexplicable beauty of greatness
Is too much of a pain to gulp down one’s throat without feeling any vainness

I toss and turn in my self inflicted sleep deprivation
Fighting the new challenging ways of degradation
Searching for undiscovered cures for this Prodigal Humiliation
Lying awake, just to find a solution to annihilate this abomination

 Failure after failure…falling in to the pit of darkness
And making myself rise again fencing every weakness
I may be Alone and Awake through this journey
But I shall not succumb to the engulfing mediocrity

Alone and Awake I’ll be.
For the world I want to see.
I’ll strive through it all, awake and alone… 
Alone and Awake.